Sorry, I can't...I'll be at the gym.

Whenever I don't want to do something - I respond with "Sorry, I can't...that's my normal gym time." Everyone knows I'm lying, but I still get away with it.

Let me start by saying, I spend a good chunk of change (read: $65) per month to belong to one of the most elite gyms Tallahassee has to offer.  I go to the gym about 4 times a week totaling around 90 minutes of actual work out time.  Unless I work out with my trainer, Omar, who may or may not be a close relative to Hitler... I chose Omar to be my trainer when I was really inspired - thinking that because he lives in the same apartment building as me, he'll be the perfect choice.  Well, I was surely mistaken.  When I don't return his phone calls (sometimes I have spotty service...don't judge me), he shows up at my front door expecting me to be pumped to go work out with him.  I haven't had that reaction once.

I once was nursing an epic hangover from a few too many shots of Rumpleminze on a Saturday morning.  I could barely get out of bed, let alone work out so I ignored Omar's phone call.  Well that little guy showed up while I was laying on the couch watching the Food Network and bullied me into running with him.  Regretfully, I agreed and met him on the main road outside of our apartments.  The joke was on me.  He said that since I ignored his call the past 3 weeks, he was making me run sprints.  Yeah, ok Omar, this is going to be fantastic for both parties involved.  After 20 sprints and Lil Jon's "Shots" on repeat, I was puking on the side of the road.  He learned his lesson while I still take a few too many shorts of Rumpleminze.

You may ask, why do you spend so much money on a gym if you really don't work out that hard.  Well, my friends, I am a compulsive people watcher.  And this gym is perfect for that.  I have seen some things that people wouldn't believe.  Like...
- A guy fell off the treadmill.  It wasn't on.
- Guidos getting their "swell" on with 25 lb weights.
- A woman drinking wine while using the elliptical.  I wasn't upset like everyone else, I was just green with envy
- A 78 year old woman calling her 20ish grandson a pussy when she beat him in the mile run
- A woman walking on the treadmill while eating a donut

So, I'll keep my really expensive gym membership because they have really nice locker rooms and a Tropical Smoothie in the lobby.  Obviously, the essentials in my book...